Guess what? I’m baaaackkk. [crowd roars] Ok, ok quiet down kids. After the very embarrassing, very public displays of tears, confusion, and blatant anger that I have witnessed*, I have decided to get back on my grind and give the people what they want. It’s only fair. I have thoroughly stretched my typing fingers, they have returned to their home keys, and are ready to give you pure enjoyment. So sit back, relax, turn on some Shins, and read my beautiful words as they dance across your screen because I have a lot to share.
So I’ve been feeling a little sick this past week. I’ve had the chills. I’ve had a fever. I can’t sleep. My heart races. It’s nothing the doctor can cure. And I finally realized what it was the other day…I’m LOVESICK y'all! I'm in LOOOVVVEEE and it's something serious. Like let's throw a party where I wear white, have two boys, five cats, and small bungalow type of serious. I've never been like this before. Ever. And he's not even my type. He couldn't touch my type with a telephone pole. And I've never truly loved anyone except for my family and friends...and [of course] chocolate. So this is huge. Like Mufasa holding up baby Simba kind of huge. So guess what I did about it? I FREAKING told him. Ok, so if feeling this way wasn't crazy enough for me, admitting it, out loud, is OUT OF THIS WORLD. Sorry, for all the CAPS, but there is no other way to express how bizarre and out of character this whole thing is in my world.
Rewind a week ago. I went home to move out of my old apartment [a whole other story that I will be sharing soon] and I hung out with the aforementioned boy, for now, let's just call him Chris. So as we hang out, it occurs to me I don't even notice, until that moment, that his eyes are this beautiful, unique shade of blue [we have literally been hanging out for like eight months now]. Oh please. Don't act all shocked. Most of you know how self-centered I am. I'm the type of person that won't remember someone I'm introduced to because I'm too busy listening to how I say my name out loud. How sad. I digress...So then I literally wake up the next morning with Chris on my mind and how much I might, just kind of, love him just a little, tiny bit. And how I have wasted all this time that we've had together. I bet you're thinking well it's all good Liya, at least now you know, and y'all can sprint into happily ever after. FALSE. One problem. He's moving. Not down the street, but to the other side of the lovely United States of America. As soon as I love him, it's too late.
On the other hand, there are so many reasons that this might not be the real deal. More of a diet love, if you will. Maybe I just "love" him because he's leaving and I know subconsciously that I will never actually have to be in a real relationship with him. Maybe I just "love" him because I want to win. We won't get into this, but he has an ever present ex-girlfriend and naturally, I'm a competitive girl. Maybe I just "love" him because I'm trying to hold on to my friends who are all moving away from me. Maybe I just "love" him because I loving having a dramatic life. Maybe I just "love" him because I feel like it's that time in my life when I should love someone. Who knows? Who knows! Oh the woes of unrequited love.
But listen, enough of this vulnerable, love talk...I have a date this weekend hahah. Ok maybe I'm not in love...I'll tell y'all how it goes!!!
*This portion refers to, but is not limited to: Sofy, Helen, Lizzy, Abby, Cate, Felicity, Kristi
